Last night I flipped on the TV and didn't even bother to see what was going to be on. I just heard the music of the movie's opening credits and wandered into the living room. From just those few notes of music, I knew whatever movie it was, i would watch it and it would be sad. I could just tell.
It was Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.
I sat still for the entire movie. I barely moved. This movie was so good. Incredibly sad but so good. In a nutshell the movie (which was a book) is about a boy who lost his father in the 9/11 attacks. It is a story that still 11 years later makes me cry and rips my heart apart.
I mean I cried. Uncontrollably tears. And if I would have wrote this post last night it would have been a sad, depressing, to many questions to ask sorta post. It was bad. So I slept on it.
And today is a new day.
For the better part of this morning/afternoon I have been thinking about this movie. Like all good movies, it sticks with you. While I put my new treasures from the weekend away, while I sorted my new Ikea vases, while I drank coffee and watched CBS Sunday Morning, while I put air in my tires, while I cut the grass, trimmed the shrubs and did some weeding...I thought about this movie.
Here is what I keep coming back to.
We all lose the people we love. This we know will happen. It is one of the few things in life that is certain. We know that someday I won't be here, you won't be here. I am still learning to fully except this. It doesn't make me as sad as it used too but I know that life can be gone in a poof, blink, snap of the fingers. Which is why I choose to live my life to the max. Sure, somedays I am a slug. But 90% of the time, I grab life by the hand and say, "where are we going to today?"
I want to make everyday count. Sounds cheesy, but it is true. I want to know that when I am gone, I am leaving memories that make people happy. And that is what I kept coming back to. Making memories with the people I love the most. Example, every time I am puttering around my yard, I think of my grandfather. He is the only person that I was extremely close to that has died. Which makes me realize how fortunate I am that I haven't experienced more loss. But I have nothing but good memories. Memories that keep him with me. When I pull out a weed, I think of him. When I water my flowers I can picture him in my head telling me to "water them good, PJ." (did you guys know my middle name is Jean...so PJ).
When I was out there this afternoon working in my yard, the puffy clouds were floating around. Just slowly fluffing their way across the sky. Makes me think of my Mom. She always says that when she dies...she will be a cloud. I like this. Because I know that someday she will be a puffy little perfect cloud. But this will not be for many more years. Selfishly, I have no idea what I would do without her.
It was Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.
I sat still for the entire movie. I barely moved. This movie was so good. Incredibly sad but so good. In a nutshell the movie (which was a book) is about a boy who lost his father in the 9/11 attacks. It is a story that still 11 years later makes me cry and rips my heart apart.
I mean I cried. Uncontrollably tears. And if I would have wrote this post last night it would have been a sad, depressing, to many questions to ask sorta post. It was bad. So I slept on it.
And today is a new day.
For the better part of this morning/afternoon I have been thinking about this movie. Like all good movies, it sticks with you. While I put my new treasures from the weekend away, while I sorted my new Ikea vases, while I drank coffee and watched CBS Sunday Morning, while I put air in my tires, while I cut the grass, trimmed the shrubs and did some weeding...I thought about this movie.
Here is what I keep coming back to.
We all lose the people we love. This we know will happen. It is one of the few things in life that is certain. We know that someday I won't be here, you won't be here. I am still learning to fully except this. It doesn't make me as sad as it used too but I know that life can be gone in a poof, blink, snap of the fingers. Which is why I choose to live my life to the max. Sure, somedays I am a slug. But 90% of the time, I grab life by the hand and say, "where are we going to today?"
I want to make everyday count. Sounds cheesy, but it is true. I want to know that when I am gone, I am leaving memories that make people happy. And that is what I kept coming back to. Making memories with the people I love the most. Example, every time I am puttering around my yard, I think of my grandfather. He is the only person that I was extremely close to that has died. Which makes me realize how fortunate I am that I haven't experienced more loss. But I have nothing but good memories. Memories that keep him with me. When I pull out a weed, I think of him. When I water my flowers I can picture him in my head telling me to "water them good, PJ." (did you guys know my middle name is Jean...so PJ).
When I was out there this afternoon working in my yard, the puffy clouds were floating around. Just slowly fluffing their way across the sky. Makes me think of my Mom. She always says that when she dies...she will be a cloud. I like this. Because I know that someday she will be a puffy little perfect cloud. But this will not be for many more years. Selfishly, I have no idea what I would do without her.
Life is just too short to not make moments and memories that will get you through those tough moments. Make memories. Make moments. And always keep them with you.
love this post. I have created some wonderful memories with you. death terrifies me, but I know it's just because I'm not ready. I haven't done all the things I want to do yet.
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